Get your eddie winslow on

Tell a lie. Seriously, if I have learned anything from TV and movies, it is that lying will inevitably strengthen your relationships and improve your life. So go ahead, make it a good one. And make sure you lie to someone you care about. Either a significant other, or a potential significant other.

Now don’t get carried away. Don’t cheat on someone. Don’t betray their trust too much. In fact, here’s some more help: Tell a lie that is self-preserving (hiding debts, etc), protects a friend (hiding your friend’s debts), or that is designed to be a nice thing but actually backfires.

Of course, it’s gonna get bad. They’ll probably not like you for a while. Crying is to be expected. This means it’s working.

You know, I should have saved this for Valentine’s Day. What’s more romantic than lying? Bondage? Maybe bondage. But that’s probably it.

The lie is important, but it’s more important that you take your hat in your hands and apologize. That you spell out exactly what an idiot you’ve been and that you just want to make things right. It’ll work. You’ll all be better off for it. I plomise.

Now look and see how far away the ‘r’ is from the ‘l’. You tell me if that was a typo or not.