No more, I say, no more

Don't ever stand in a line again.

Well, ok, there are some exceptions. Lines that will never get shorter like the DMV or Disneyland or security check poins at airports, you should probably stand in those if you want what's at the other end.

But lines for planes, boats, free tote bags? Fuck that shit. Look, for a plane, if you have a boarding pass, you're getting on. And the difference between being the 20th person and the 35th person if it's group boarding won't make much difference. So just wait until the line starts moving and is almost gone, and then hop in. If you have an assigned seat, then you can wait until just before they close the door. You have a ticket, there's no hurry. And waiting in a line for free things is embarassing anyway.

I don't ever, ever want to stand in line again. You shouldn't have too, either.

No movies on opening day. No things you think you want but will only throw away when you realize that if it was worth having they could sell it for $5 (universal amount you will pay for something that was free, but you still want. The boys at penny-arcade.com suggested this and I am on board, body and soul.)

So avoid the lines you can, be smart about the ones you can't. It'll be a better world.