Grimoire of Toothborn Tortures

The noise about how important flossing is has gotten quite loud. And the phrase 'harder to start flossing than to quit smoking' is all to familiar to us all. If it is really as important as they are saying, there need to be some major technological improvements to make it as easy as possible. I for one have horrible gums. I once had an inflammation of the gums common in World War One soldiers with high levels of stress and poor dietary conditions known as 'trench mouth'. And still I can't make myself start flossing regularly.

So auto-flossers are a start. So are those pick thingies that have pre-treaded floss. These are helpful, but not an answer. It is all so hard to want to do. You have to stick your hands all up in your mouth to purposefully cause yourself pain. Who is going to want to do that? But I do believe them that it is a health concern. So I want to help.

I envision a thing that looks like a medieval torture device. A contraption that you stick in your mouth and has a piece of floss in perfect place for every one of your teeth. Your dentist could be in charge of fitting you for it. Then all you would have to do is sort of bite down slash wiggle it into place, maybe move it around a bit in your mouth and then go about disentangling yourself from the mouthpiece. And hey presto! you're done flossing. Still painful and creepy yes, but done in one fell swoop.

Okay. So that isn't the best idea ever. But it is something that should be researched. I sort of feel like playing up the crazy torture aspect of flossing might have a perversely positive effect. Like the device itself admits to you that flossing sucks, but you can do it still because you know how good it is for you.