Rock a bye

Did you know babies get to sleep all day in swings that rock themselves? I assume it's done by batteries or, more likely, steam. But these swings are incredible. The baby just gets dropped in and then you press a button and it rocks them until...until whatever happens next.

Well here's my question: where the fuck is mine?

I don't want to be rocked to sleep like a baby, but a self rocking chair would be pretty cool. Or maybe a hammock. And yes, I am that lazy. I guess it's not even about being lazy though...it's just...it would be nice if technology did the work for me so I could concentrate on getting fat.

That's all I'm saying.