Band of Brothers (or Sisters): A Social Contract

This is most assuredly a not for everyone type of post and likely a not for most people type of post.

Friends, good ones, should stick together. Friendship is more than like minded people rubbing elbows while in proximity. Friendship should construct proximity. Or at least that is how I tend to define it. And this take it a step further. This is perhaps intended for harsher times than these, but is also perhaps to say that for some people times are always harsh and they could use their friends.

The idea is for groups of friends to enter into compact to make decisions somewhat communally. I'm thinking most particularly about where to live and sort of how. So you and your college roommate think it would be neat to move to Seattle and try to pursue your rock band. But nine months in you're working at a coffee shop and he is at a tech firm and has met a girl and decides to move to Silicon Valley. And your stuck up in Seattle feeling shitty. What I'm purposing is that you decide, in pretty clear terms, when making such a decision in the first place, to continue making those sorts of decisions together, as a pair or as a group.

Of course people should only commit to such things if they are really willing to commit to such things. But I just have this sense that people are never explicit about these 'friendly' commitment and it often ends up in someone getting hurt or left behind. And sure part of it can be a 'pull your own weight' argument, where the coffee shop guy can be told that in order to continue on the terms of the contract, he has to get off his ass and do something a little more productive. It is a two way street. Just that it should be a clear street that a person can follow.

What I'm really getting at here and I'm sure this isn't obvious, that it is actually just my own sub-text, is the formation of mobile communities, groups of people who decide to move place to place together and to work communally to keep the members of the group as comfortable and happy as possible. Again, I'm always wanting to redefine the terms of community and to pull us away from the notion of the replication of the mother-father-child set-up that has been the only supported notion of primary community since at least the 50's (or so I hear). For me, that isn't enough and it does lead to bad things. We were never so insular. So let's make all those other connects more clear. And while we're at it, let's make them stronger.