No more first dates

I'm foregretting the decision to write this. I recently went on a first date which definitely led to a lot of these thoughts. So if the other half of that date is reading this, it's not about you. It's the system. Not us. You know, don't hate the player, hate the game.

Anyway, first dates are the most goddawful invention ever. They suck worse than any warerboarding-abu gharib inspired torture you could conceive. John McCain's POW experience? Fuck that. Not even close.

Ok, they aren't that bad. But they do suck. The conversation, even on the best first dates, is forced and covers a predictable number of subjects. In predictable fashion. Lame. And look, I get it, it's the basic stuff you need to know about someone. You're going to learn it all at some point. Well, why the hell does that have to be on the initial meeting?

So the idea is to never ever go on a first date ever again. Well how am I going to get to know someone, you might ask. Fuck it. That's not my problem. I don't know. Be friends first. Play on a sports team. Make a fake questionaire and require all potential partners to fill it out. There are better ways to do this people. Quit being lazy. If you like someone and you have to arrange a million crazy scenarios so you can hang out a few times then by the end of it you'll know for sure if that person is worth it. And if you want to pursue it. And you're soul will be intact. Which is a good thing.

I'm done with it. I'm just going to make it up as I go along.